I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
