Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
