that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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