I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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