Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
