Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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