My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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