when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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