i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
