he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My feet surprised me
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize