called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
