everyone is single if you try hard enough
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
