Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
