So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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