i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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