Do you still have your period?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
