So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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