Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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