You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
