I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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