I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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