Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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