i just had sex bonerless
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
