i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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