its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
