i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
