My brain says no but my pants say off.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
