so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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