He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
