I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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