My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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