how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
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not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
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