at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
