have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize