This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
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