I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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