WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
