No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
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I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
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can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.