My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Randomize
