how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
