Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
Love having children with random chicks
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle