How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC