how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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