Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
