I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
