I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize