All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
