Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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