The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
