The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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