I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I came so hard my ears popped.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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