I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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