its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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